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Had I spoken up to him, the likely response would have been, “Don’t be such a fucking sissy.”įortunately, he probably couldn’t get away with it now, but in the early 1960s, real men were supposed to be able to take it and give it back.Īs Western culture evolved, men were supposed to be tough and fat men were considered to be lazy, unmotivated, lacking in self-discipline, sloppy, and inadequate. Maybe he wanted to piss us off, hoping we’d transfer that anger onto our opponents, but the only person on the football field I wanted to hurt was Coach Pappy. We heard often enough as young men This will make a man out of you. I suppose he may have meant to toughen us up. All of us had vulnerabilities, and he sought them out. They knew they could be the next victim of Coach Pappy’s verbal assaults he hadn’t singled me out for his bullying. I hated exposing my naked body to anyone, so I always showered in a corner facing the wall.Īs we showered, Coach Pappy yelled at me, “Olson, with tits like that, you should wear a bra! Ha, Ha.” When I was about fifteen-years-old, I anxiously showered with my teammates after football practice. There, on my chest, visible to everyone, was physical evidence that I wasn’t quite a man.
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When that wasn’t possible, I always had a t-shirt handy. As a teenager, at the swimming pool, I either stood in shoulder-deep water or lay face down on my towel. I was always self-conscious about the size of my breasts.